“Whatever, she’s ugly” : Insecurities beneath body shaming

Psychologists and academics specializing in media effects on the body and mind agree that body shaming and fat shaming has likely always been a problem in modern society to a degree. However, with the invention of the Internet and social media platforms, public commentary on all matters is at an all-time high; including bullying and shaming individuals for their weight and appearance.

There are many reasons people struggle with their weight. Many of which are health related and can be a constant battle for the individual. It is important to not shame people, but to especially not shame someone for something they have little control over.

DISEASES WHICH CAUSES UNEXPLAINED WEIGHT LOSS

• Addison's disease (adrenal insufficiency)

• Cancer.

• Celiac disease.

• Changes in diet or appetite.

• Changes in sense of smell.

• Changes in sense of taste.

• COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease)

• Crohn's disease.

DISEASES WHICH CAUSES UNEXPLAINED INCREASE IN WEIGHT

• type 2 diabetes

• high blood pressure

• heart disease and strokes

• certain types of cancer

• sleep apnea

• osteoarthritis

• fatty liver disease

• kidney disease

• pregnancy problems, such as high blood sugar during pregnancy, high blood pressure, and increased risk for cesarean delivery (C-section)

Body-shaming manifests in many ways:

1) Criticizing your own appearance, through a judgment or comparison to another person. (i.e.: “I’m so ugly compared to her.” “Look at how broad my shoulders are.”)

2) Criticizing another’s appearance in front of them, (i.e.: “With those thighs, you’re never going to find a date.”)

3) Criticizing another’s appearance without their knowledge. (i.e.: “Did you see what she’s wearing today? Not flattering.” “At least you don’t look like her!”).

No matter how this manifests, it often leads to comparison and shame, and perpetuates the idea that people should be judged mainly for their physical features.

This leads to the question: if it has such harsh consequences, why is body-shaming so common? In some ways, it feels easier to shoot for something that will hurt, like targeting physical appearance, rather than expressing what is really going on emotionally. Saying, “I’m really hurt by how my friend treated me,” or “I’m terrified of losing this friendship” opens us up and makes us more vulnerable, and therefore feels easier to bury underneath the body-shaming comments that rush to mind.

How do we challenge this? Practice identifying why you are upset about a situation. For example, it’s unlikely that you’re mad at a friend because she’s breaking out, and more likely that you’re upset about a miscommunication or feeling of rejection. Practice thinking it, and eventually, verbalizing it.

Identify who in your life is body-positive – or even body-neutral. Think of people who celebrate their body for what it can do, and people who refuse to comment on others’ physical appearances. Spending time with these people can be especially helpful while you are struggling with your own internalized body-shaming, and help you view yourself – and others – more positively. Confront those who perpetuate body-shaming. Once you’ve become more aware of your own body-shaming behaviors, you may notice how often your friends, family or peers do it.